- "Goddamn it, Loggins, the smooth grooves of this song will make it to at least #2!"
- "You wanna come over? James Ingram and I are getting wasted and writing smooth music."
- "What did you say? Yah mo' be there?"
- "You're drowning in the past, Mike. But I've got your life vest right here: it's called the 80's, and it's gonna be around forever!"
- "Fuck you! You're not Koko. Koko's dead as shit."
- "Oh, hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. You caught me relaxing in my music nook."
- "Oh, hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. You caught me basting some lamb shanks."
- "Oh, hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. You caught me taking a shit."
- "Oh, hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. You caught me attending the funeral of a loved one."
- "Oh, hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me murdering a homeless woman."
- "Oh, hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me making love."
- "Hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. I'm ready for you this time."
- "Oh, hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me becoming estranged from my spouse."
- "Oh, hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me being beheaded by Islamic extremists."
- As part of the 2005 Channy Awards opening Sequence.
- "Yo, Mike, you wanna take it up the ass, or take it to the streets!?"
- "Shut the fuck up! All of you, shut the fuck up! Hall and I will not stand idly by while you California vagina sailors stab the American airwaves in the balls with your shit ... music!"
- "Gino will get you everything you ever need: fame, fortune... vagina."
- "Get your dick out of your heart! Do you even know what the kids on the street are listening to? Disco, motherfucker!"
- "Donald says, 'Koko's not truly dead until the smooth music is.'"
- "Alright Toto, I've done some research, and I've found out that the root chakra is my taint. That means she really wants to fuck me."
- "Come on Amnesia Jack, you're a Doobie Brother... Michael McDonald, one smooth motherfucker!"
- "This is gonna be some good-ass banana bread."
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